Time changes everything, even you and I have changed
YIJIA♥
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should.
Know that grudges are a waste of happiness.
Let go of what you cannot change.
Love deeply, forgive quickly, take some chances.
Always give all you have got.
Try to take things in your stride and smile even when you’re feeling sad.
Remember what you’ve got but also love and cherish what you have now.
Do your best in everything cos life is too short to be anything but happy:D
--That's just me N my motto♥--
Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they’re also what tear you apart
“sometimes,i hope Life is all but a long dream...”
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
May 2011
August 2011
September 2011
November 2011
June 2012
It seemed like a year already
Wednesday, November 23, 2011 || Wednesday, November 23, 2011
I cry a lot these few days. Especially at night when I am alone..... The feeling just came and for long hours, I sat in the dark, crying till I fall asleep. I don't know what came over me these few days. The sick feeling was no longer physically but mentally. I felt that I was going to suffer from depression soon. It was horrible.
Tomorrow would be my 6th time doing chemo, my 3rd cycle.
It would be the 3rd month undergoing chemo yet it had felt like eternity already.
好辛苦哦。。。
I have the strong feeling of dread and nausea every time I step back into the hospital. It felt like stepping back into hell again.
Two nights ago, my mother accidentally pulled my catheter out and broke the stitches while cleaning the catheter. I went hysterical and threw things all over the floor. At that moment, I screamed at my mother as because of her, I had to suffer yet another injection and another torturous stitching. I cried for a very long time. My poor mother apologised repeatedly outside my room as I slammed the door right in her face. All that screaming and crying that night vented my frustrations for chemo, for the disgusting medicine and tonics I have to eat daily, for the nagggings, for my ill fate. I was just being a bitch and a brat that night.
I am no longer mentally well for 7 months of chemo. I do not intend to complete all 7 cycles.. no matter what the adults say, I am stopping at 4 cycles or at most 5. This is the maximum I can take. i can't wait to be normal again.
For how many nights, I dream of having my own hair back, being able to go out with my friends, being able to run and jump. I want my life back...ASAP.
Damn you cancer...
